2: She never fell.

I had wondered how it could be possible to talk to such a luminous being without leaving me sightless or be able to maintain certain composure as whenever I got close to her I could feel her brightness go through me, lighting me up, leaving no nick or cranny left in which to hide myself in, leaving me bare and vulnerable to her. It was like as if she had been born with the keys to my every lock and when around her all my locks at once would start to tremble with emotion wondering if they could be opened to reveal that which for so long lay locked away, and which in fact they themselves had forgotten what it was they actually guarded.


By this time I had been in the dark for quite a while and at the risk of losing myself entirely, of dissolving my blackness in her radiance, I could find nothing left but to leap into her heavens of light. Such was the strength of her magnetism – intense yet never imposing – and my will to join it.

For me it was all beyond reason; her presence evoked in me a feeling of peace and awe beyond merely the territory of the heart. I cherished the tiniest moments spent by her side; a glance at her eyes could leave me absent, taking a part of me to a plain far removed from earth or sky, somewhere were both our daemons could shyly be with each other. There, time often seemed to change its pattern; like a sunset sometimes passing by too quickly, other times slow like the wait for dawn. And it felt right, even if it were only an illusion. It was beautiful to be there in those moments, by her glow, even if at a distance. It felt good to leave my darkness behind, even when after the light had gone it sometimes fell heavier upon me.


And so like a charcoal heading towards the core of a fire, fearing getting burned but wanting nonetheless to get close to its heart to not only become part of the blaze but more so hoping to unite with it to create an even brighter splendour, I strived to get closer to her until one day I finally got a glimpse of her true nature.
Her glow though brilliant was gentle and cool.


She was in fact not a being of fire but a being of light, whose incandescence stemmed from sources other than simple wood or oxygen. Formed from deepest affection, the strongest passion, and the rarest stardust her glow was nurtured by freedom and love. A star born into human form, her essence was evident only to those who could see past the blinding attraction of her physical beauty.
She had not fallen from the sky, not by mistake nor punishment, though she shared their gorgeous brightness and purity, was mystical and radiant but also troubled by human nature. Bruised, broken and burned life had gone ahead and begun teaching her the brutal frailty and aesthetic of our bodies, the confusion and wonder of our minds, the aches and vastness of our hearts and what it meant to combine them all into the complexity of her unique spirit. And yet somehow these tough earthly lessons were unable to dull her instead making her all the more beautiful as they fused with her heavenly soul, changing her glow from a crisp white-blue to an inimitable lavish purple, a colour so pure in its brilliance and spellbinding as the smell of lavender after the dew that one could not only see it during the sunniest of April days but which reached beyond one’s skin into one’s all.


And it made the stars above shimmer brighter; some did so in admiration whilst others in envy attempted to outshine her. So, luminous as they all were they were unable to match her sparkle, but like the sea does the moon, they reflected her image across their entire kingdom, further out than the confines of our mortal sight, thus turning the entire night time sky into her own constellation. It must have been so for whenever I looked towards the darkened heavens I could see nothing but her. It was her all around.